A Letter to My Girls on Mother's Day

Dear E and Little A,

Today as we celebrate Mother's Day, I wanted to stop and write you a letter.  I truly believe that being a mom is by far my greatest accomplishment in life.  I may not do it perfectly and there will be times that I will fail you as a mom but I will try my hardest to be the best mom I can be through God's strength and grace. 

My sweet E, you were the blessing that made me a mom.  I remember the Mother's Day I was pregnant with you and all of the emotions that came with that day.  I remember feeling you move in my womb and hiccup and just being in awe at the life that was growing inside of me.  I was overcome that God has chosen me to be your mom and I anxiously awaited your arrival.  I remember the day you were born and the realization that I was now responsible for this tiny little life.  I have made many mistakes in the past 4.5 years as your mom and I know there will be many more in the future but you always tell me "that's ok mama, I forgive you.  Do you forgive me?"  Thank you for showing me grace and for helping me become a better mom.  I promise to always love you my sweet little chicken noodle!  I love you and I am so blessed to be your mom!

Our dear Little A, my heart is missing you today as you are away from our family.  I hope that in some way you have experienced a mother's love today.  I think of your birth mom and dad and my heart hurts for them as well.  I pray that your birth mom feels loved and honored today.  They are making a sacrifice that will one day soon allow me to become your mom.  I cannot wait to see your face for the very first time and to know that you will be joining our family.  I long for the day when you will be placed in my arms and when I can whisper in your ear how much you are truly loved.  I promise to always love you my dear girl and cannot wait to watch you blossom.

E and Little A, it is my prayer that both of you would grow to know and love the Lord and to follow Him all the days of your lives.  I pray that you would know how very much your daddy and I love you and how very thankful I am that I get to be your mom.  I cannot wait to watch the two of you grow up and hope that one day I will have the privilege of seeing you become mothers as well.

I love you with all my heart,
Mama

An Unexplainable Love

Next week we will have been on the waiting family list for one month.  This month has passed quickly and without much excitement.  We are currently waiting for USCIS to send us our appointment for fingerprints.  We wait for documents to be certified and authenticated.  We wait for the greatly anticipated "this is your referral" call.  We continue to wait for the little girl God has for our family. 

While we wait we love.  Little A's name is never far from our lips and thoughts.  Numerous times a day E will say "when baby sister comes home" or something to that effect.  We constantly talk about life with little sister and pray for her daily.  E talks of baby sister so often that people frequently ask if we know when she is coming home. 

Each day I find myself wondering what our Little A will look like, how old she will be, what will she like and dislike, will she adjust and attach to our family well.  Each day my love for this little girl whom we have never met or even laid eyes on grows.  It is unexplainable and almost indescribable.  I feel a fierce love for a little girl thousands of miles away who may not even be born yet.  I feel the protectiveness of a mama as she longs for her little one to be well taken care of.  I feel a slight emptiness in my heart as I know our family is not yet complete.  As Mother's Day approaches I think of our Little A's birth mother.  I think of the loss she has or will experience in the days to come as she places her child for adoption.  I think of her as courageous and strong.  I am thankful for her.  Thankful that she is choosing life for her daughter.  She is choosing love.  It is an unexplainable love.  It is grand.  It is beyond comprehension.

We wait and we love.  We love with our whole hearts and cannot wait to embrace the precious child God has for us.