Saturday, August 31, 2013

If I Had A Dollar

I am sure many of my fellow adoptive mama friends can relate to this post and so I write.  As a disclaimer - I am not writing this because I have been offended or hurt.  I just wanted to share some things that have been on my mind.  If as you read this post you think, "is she talking about me?," chances are the answer is NO. 

One of the frequently spouted off comments to adoptive families is "I bet you will get pregnant after you bring your little one home from (insert country)."  Most people who make this statement have no idea what has brought you and your family to the adoption journey.  In our case, adoption was always a part of our family plan, however unexplained secondary infertility brought about this chapter in our lives a little sooner than we anticipated.

As we have walked this happy road of adoption I have heard the above referenced comment at least 50 times if not more.  My response has been and will remain, "I hope you are right!"  However, I feel it is important to share that if this does happen I do not want to become another one of those stories - you know the ones I am talking about - "I have a friend who tried to get pregnant for many years and was told it would never happen.  They adopted their son/daughter from (insert country) and 2 months later she found out she was pregnant." 

The truth of the matter is that it could very well happen to us.  We have been pregnant.  More than once.  We have a beautiful little girl who entered our family through birth and we will have another beautiful little girl enter our family through adoption.  There is no physical reason for us not to be able to have another biological child.  So, if God chooses to bless us with another child after Little A has joined our family - Praise Him!  If He chooses not to bless us with another biological child after Little A has joined our family - Praise Him! 


If you have ever made the aforementioned comment to an adoptive mama, it's OK.  If you have made that statement to me - it's OK.  I hope you are right! However, just know that for some women it is a hard statement to hear.  They know the circumstances that brought them to adoption, they have possibly grieved the loss of biological children or are still grieving, they have faced difficult days and could face more in the future.  So please be sensitive.

And if I ever have the privilege of sharing that we are pregnant again, please do not say "I knew it would happen" or "I told you so!"  THANKS!